Would you be troubled by a lonely existence?

I've been mulling over this today.

I've always thought that living alone in a forest is an ideal thing.
The whole Adam and Eve thing with only animals surrounding them really appeals to me.
That is actually my ideal world.

Adam doesn't even have to be there.
(I know that Eve is only there because of Adam. Let's just speak of it in a loose sense.)

You could say," Oh, but then you won't have internet. Or running tap water. Or hot baths."

I guess you just win some and lose some. :|

So to me, having to be around people = a reward in the form of a nice, hot shower..
Or even a steaming cup of hot chocolate.

Because let's face it, I don't think that there would be a local Whittard's at the next tree in my 'ideal' world.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is:

I am mildly glad that most humans depend on a society to thrive. That means a transference of knowledge over generations. That means that one will eventually be able to go to space, or have electricity, or fly.

I still like being alone.
Sure, you'll always have to watch your back to survive..
But isn't that the case nowadays anyway?

That is probably one of the things that really get to me. Betrayal of your own kind.
Or someone whom you thought you could trust.

If we were cut from the same cloth, why would you twist me to go further?
If we were birds of the same feather, why would you burn mine so that I can't fly?
Would it make you fly faster? Further?

Don't get me wrong.

I was not betrayed by anyone recently.
But I have been, before. And I don't understand why anyone would want to create conflict like that.

And it gets to me.

I get all twisted up on the inside and would gladly purge if the movie was a reality.
I would also have no regrets doing so.

Maybe that is a kind of evil.
But to me, pure evil is going out of your way to hurt someone else unnecessarily.

This is the part where you say: Oh, that sounds like a proper psychopath- or sociopath.

Well, not everyone is the same, right?
This applies to the average, or as average as you can find, psychopath as well.

I am not the same as the next one you might or might not identify in your own life.
I see the same things in the same light as they do, but I will react in a different way.

I'll go into more detail in the future.

To be honest, I do not see anyone wishing to read this.
But it's always good to document how you feel..

I feel so dark and twisted on the inside, honestly.
I would never think about hurting myself. (There is no benefit in that.)
I do think about hurting others.

At least I can admit it.

Maybe everyone has their own kind of evil.
Maybe hurting humans physically (if they deserve it) is a no-no to someone else, but the same person is okay with lying and cheating on their partner.

If you're reading this, do you see the world in the same light as I do?
Do you think that everyone has their own kind of evil?